It's been awhile...

Gawd - I'm not even sure what to write - it's been awhile eh kids...

Well, I think I'm gonna start by saying the husband is alive but not well....
Many, many, many, problems over here in my world but let's not focus on that....
Let's just pretend for a moment that everything is different and I'm livin' in my happy place...

No serious shit here today - let's talk about some fluff...

Let's see....um...really like the new Damien Rice and Ben Harper is rockin my world lately....
Went to the gym yesterday - first time in like FOREVER - didn't kill me...
Been reading some really good books lately....
Um...starting to like yogurt...um...um...
Hate football....

Ugh this post sucks...maybe try later....

Hi Kids...

Guess what I did this week.....Nope keep guessing... well aside from eating my weight in "fun size" chocolate bars and mini bags of chips - love Halloween - I....well I should say We...as in me and the husband.....updated our Wills and finalized Power Of Attorneys for each other - romantic aren't we.....

Well, you see I kinda lost my mind on Wednesday when I found out the husband was not following his new "healthy" lifestyle...I decided that I will never ever be put in the situation of not having me and the boy "taken care of" in the event of my husband's demise - yes I was not completely prepared when he "died" this summer and since he does not seem to take what has happened to him seriously (you know the dead part, brain injury or not) then I can only control what I can and I'll be damned if I will be left high and dry when he "drops" next time - and when that time comes you can be assured that he will not be so lucky again as to be given a second chance...

Wow.... I know that sounded harsh but realistically I am one frustrated, scared, TIRED, and overwhelmed woman who is not ready to be a widow......

Hope you all had a good week and are feeling the bulge of Halloween

Hey there

Well I'll be damned....

Just for shits and giggles I thought I would check into the old blog world and low and behold....people have still been checking in here...wow

Thanks for all the kind comments and caring emails I have received in the last few months...they were a super surprise and much appreciated

Things are still really shitty around here but one must focus on the positives right....right?....right...

The husband will be discharged from the hospital to our home on Thursday and then the real fun will begin I guess....

He has made incredible gains in the last few weeks and things are much more optimistic but he will still have a long road ahead of him...having an anoxic brain injury and surviving a cardiac arrest are a tough combo in the rehab world....

Thanks again for all the well wishes....take care of yourselves....

I'll leave you all with this recent pic of the boy from our trip to a country corn maze.... We took the husband for an afternoon LOA from the hospital to enjoy some of the most beautiful fall weather...I'd like to title this photo.... "Children of the corn"......

In a moment......

In a moment your life can forever change....

On August 23, while playing baseball, my husband suffered a massive heart attack which resulted in an anoxic brain injury....

In a moment everything changed....

Things are very surreal and very complicated right now and I really don't think that this blog is the appropriate vehicle for my rants and babbling...

For those who have sent me emails wondering where the hell I've been - this is why I've been away... and probably will remain gone for now.... I got nothing to amuse anyone with right now....

Take care and take care of those you love because in a moment all that you know and think you know can easily be gone...

Is this week over yet??

My apology for my last post on Tuesday....sometimes that place just really kicks me in the ass...

Had a much better day today with the clients....not so much of a great day with a friend...don't much want to elaborate on that one just yet though ...other than anyone have a good ending story about bone cancer...anybody??

But ANYHOW....let's just put all of that crap of our heads right now and enjoy a few giggles - everyone needs a giggle now and then...(a boat load would work wonders right now)

Let's be lovin' on the hottest and funniest man alive right now - kisses to Dane...



This has always been my all time fav little ditty by the much cleaner but funny as hell Jim.....



Whew...feeling better now...

This posts for you.......

To everyone but the ass who drove me crazy today at work just ignore this post - just needing to let some shit fly here right now...

To the son of a bitch client who just doesn't get it.......

Newsflash jerkoff - the world does not revolve around you and your needs.....

We may be a crisis centre but believe it or not you are not the only person in this whole frickin' world that may need us right now...

You see you live in a community of over 320 000 people and we service not only these 300 000 or so we also have to accommodate the needs of people in our rural areas as well...soooooo....that's alot of people.....

We have the capacity to only house a very few children in the program nightly and believe it or not (look at above number) you are not the only person that feels that they need to have their kids stay with us....

Perhaps the mother who is undergoing chemo treatments, or the family currently living at the shelter, or maybe, just maybe, the kid who was feeding his dead mother hot dogs in hopes that she will "wake up" really need to use our service too....

I fully believe that you feel that you need your kids to come and stay with us for a while cause, as you put it, parenting is hard and you need a break from the responsibility of parenting...but seriously buddy, I CAN'T HELP YOU RIGHT NOW....get it...that won't change no matter what names you call me, how loud you yell, or how many threats you utter about contacting my supervisor - actually go ahead he has a lot less patience for idiots like you....

Maybe if you thought about what happens when you stick that little joyhandle of yours in every chick that looks your way you wouldn't have to be sooooooo stressed out with kids.....

Stop yelling at me and getting on my ass cause I can't help you find some peace today man




That's it, that's all, return now to your regular bloggin fun kids....

Thanks Freak....

Where the hell have I been...or better yet - where the hell has he been...

Seriously - I'm speechless
At first I was in shock and laughing my ass off
Now the shock has worn off and I'm just really, really, really saddened (and a little bit scared)
I apologize to those who have witnessed this before but Christ, I can't look away..

I survived.....

Well kids, I survived the hillbilly weekend - with most of my braincells intact...I think...

I prepared myself for the conversations about trucks, crops, and the "who is doing who" talks, the tractor rides, the beer bottle cap races, and the ever so unforgettable sing song around the bonfire...

I even practiced speaking in one word syllables on the ride down but what I did not prepare myself for and remember to expect was.....the mayonnaise...

Why oh why does every food group at these shing - dings have to contain about 10 pounds of that digusting white goo...

We had every type of potato/macaroni/pasta salad known to man dripping in the fat laden "miracle whip" of your choice - I even counted 75 devilled eggs on the table

And if you just didn't get enough of the stuff in every sidedish there was tubs of the mayo stuff available to slop on your burger/hot dog/sausage - And most did!!

My pretty little greek salad looked so lost and out of place sitting there on the buffet (made from old barn doors) - just like me....

You know no matter how much I hate my life sometimes here - all it takes is that 5 hour ride back home to put what I have and where I come from all into perspective...

That and the fact that I can't stop shittin' mayo.....

Oh My Sir Bob.....

I love this man....really really love everything about this man...



You see back in the late 80's or so when I thought I wanted to change the world I read this....

I knew of Bob before cause I loved Pink Floyd and thought "The Wall" was cinematic genius (remember I was in my teens) so I was quite smitten before the whole live aid thing but then I read his book.....

Totally 100% fell for Sir Bob, lived and breathed his existance for awhile - no one else understood my attraction and thought I was a bit cuckoo for awhile - sure everyone admire what he was doing and thought the live aid thing was great but he was so much more for me...can't really explain it...anyhow...time marches on and well, to be honest, I forgot about Sir Bob...until yesterday..

There was an interview with him on this canadian show and well imagine my surprise..
This is what I saw..

Boy time has aged the old boy and my first reaction was oh my bob...
But then he opened his mouth and began to speak and sucked me right back in...god, I love this man.....let us remember him like this though...


Oh ya..if you want to comment and let me know what a bastard he is in real life - go ahead...for some reason I seem to be attracted to bastards.....

I wish.....

It sure would be swell if someone sang me the Rock Lobster song...make everything alright.....

Drip...drip...drip

too....friggin...hot....to...type...
must...go...to....
iceland...
I will never ever bitch ever again about being cold...this is hell

Anyhow the husband is back - notice my lack of posting lately - too busy fighting and feeling too depressed with life (I know boo hoo just leave the bastard already...)

Here's some exciting news - I get to spend the weekend with family that I haven't seen in 20 years and really have no desire to see for another 20 years - yes kids it's the hillbilly family reunion...yee haw..

Now don't get me wrong I truly enjoy and feel great affection for some of these "kinfolk" but seriously it'll take me the rest of the month to return my IQ to normal - and I ain't that bright to begin with....

A memoir.....

Okay kids, it struck me today that I should write a memoir - a la James Frey style..
You know the type that is based on a little truth and a whole lot a "creativity"

I'm thinkin that instead of it taking place in a rehab centre it could take place in an institution for the criminally insane - well, I work at a crisis centre - close enuf...eh?

The main character (me) instead of being an addict, I would be mentally unstable, not due to drugs and alcohol but because of torment suffered at the hands of a bastard of a husband... (hmmm... maybe too close to home)

And instead of it being called "A million little pieces" it'll be called "Four big chunks" cause that's how they find his body after I'm "finished" with it....

Wow the creative juices are a flowin' now...

And at the end instead of me losing the love of my life that I met at the "Happy Hills Resort", My love is a 25 year old strong, intelligent, gorgeous med intern (think Brad Pitt) who cures me from the psychosis I have been under during my ordeal and whisks me away to his home in the Mediterranean and we all live happily ever after....

Bestseller... Hell, Pulitzer...think movie deal... God I could be on Oprah!

Man I'm tired tonight...

Took ten years off my life.....

I love the boy, really, really, love the boy BUT today I could have knocked him into next week - he is lucky that I didn't beat him -

You see we have this delightful little rubber rat that is awesome in scaring the begeebers out of Grandma but today the trick was on moi

This is what I dealt with this morning - without having my morning coffee no less...



Little bastard..... that's all for now kids....I am still shaking (but smiling now)

A good mommy moment......

So I decided that I really gotta step up to the good mommy plate and bring on a homerun for the boy.... ooooh likin the baseball analogy... so I took Wednesday off work - yes the crisis centre will survive sans moi for one day (I thought), and spent a "special day" with the boy...

I try to schedule at least one or two "special days" with just me and boy per month but have been lacking in the follow through recently due to the husband's absence...
I have been working fulltime, parenting fulltime, and doing the house crap fulltime, so the special days have fallen to the wayside in the last month or so....

Wednesday I tried to redeem myself so I let the boy pick out anything he wanted to do for our special day and he chose the most hellish place on earth to spend our special day.... the b.e.a.c.h. - ughh

Now I know for most the beach is a wonderful place of relaxation but to the big girl here it means being hot, wet, and sandy - 3 things that I believe were methods of torture in medieval times.... not to mention being in a very public place in the world's most unattractive swimsuit - yes kids, long gone are the bikini's of my youth and hello frumpy black tent/bathing suit...

The things you do for your kids eh....

So putting on my best "I'm having a great time" face I swam in the disgusting lake water, built the most treasured sandcastles, chased seagulls, and burnt to a crisp for the love of my boy....



So I'm sitting there about 2 hours into the "best day evah"(according to the boy) and I find water dripping down my cheeks - no its not sweat, it's... tears.. not tears of sadness, tears of frustration or tears of anger, but tears I think of...joy
Man when was the last time those suckers touched my face... tears of pure joy...
Watching the boy lovin every moment of this time at this god forsaken place I was touched (ya I know I'm "touched")
Touched in the simple beauty of the boy on a beach, touched by the squeals of delight from the waves on his legs, touched by the pure moment of joy we both have shared today at this most unbelievable place called the beach....
(Holy Christ someone call Hallmark - I'm having a moment)

Look at this picture though and tell me that you can't feel some joy.... I dare ya..

It's all good...

Today I was pleasantly surprised - yes kids something not soo sucky happened to me today..
I went to the grocery store today on my lunch to get the usual greek salad and came across and a delightful little sumthin... these..

Now I realize that most probably are wondering what the hell they are as they do appear to be lumps of shit on a plate in this photo but rest assurred they are not..
In fact they were the best thing that happened to me today - so let us rejoice in the wonderfulness (I know not a real word) of the cheddar cheese pretzel - Hurrah!

See, the world can be on your side sometimes - a small artifically flavoured, sodium filled, turd looking morsel can be just the thing to help you appreciate the smaller pleasures in life.....

Well until your ass of a husband returns home to squash any tidbit of happiness you so desperately cling to while the world is spinning out of control around you and you have no way out cause you are broke, broke, broke, thanks to the shopping addiction you indulged in for the last year looking for a "happy fix" and that fact the the boy you desperately love and want to be happy more than life likes the dumb bastard and would be devasted if was not able to play video games with him all fuckin weekend long because you decided to actually leave and try to bring back some shred of a life you once had when you were skinny and smart and full of life...whew.... sorry....lets take a moment...breathe... in and out, in and out...gonna go now.... and have a few pretzels....(this last paragraph must be read very fast in order to get the full effect of my minor meltdown)

Guess what we caught.....

Say hullo to my new little friend...

Ain't he sweet...I think we will name him kitty, just for fun...

The boy and I caught him this morning
Well, I guess I should say the boy caught him this morning...
I just more or less was yelling... "careful... don't drop him... don't squish him... careful... for the love of god boy, be gentle...aggh watch out for his leg... go wash your hands, go wash your hands, go wash your hands"...

A boy and a frog how much more Norman Rockwell can my life get...

And no I didn't try kissing it...well not yet...

No title

Stupid fuckin' lottery.....

Cross your fingers.....

Must. Win. Lottery.
Yep I must win tonight's Super 7 draw
No if, ands, or buts about it
I just must win - no other options people...

Waiting... waiting.... and waiting in antipication of the magic numbers to appear
When will they call these numbers of mine......



So while I await my fortune let me show you what I am enjoying right now...



Hail Caesar, a True Canadian Icon! (from tidings magazine - probably should footnote this or whatever)

The Caesar, a quintessential Canadian invention has been one of this country’s most favored savory cocktails for over 35 years. Spiced up, or spiced down, each year, over 300 million Caesars are served to Canadians across the country (almost ten times the nation’s entire population) reflecting the fact that the savory Caesar is a cherished part of Canadian life.

The tale of the Caesar began in 1969 when inventor, bar manager and mixologist extraordinaire Walter Chell was challenged to concoct his own unique cocktail creation to mark the opening of a Calgary restaurant. Since then, the infamous blend of vodka and Mott’s Clamato tomato-clam cocktail (a combination of tomato juice, mashed clams and a top secret blend of spices) has become a true Canadian icon.

Mmmmm... me like.... NOW BRING ON THE DAMN NUMBERS....

Forgotten.....

Ever lose a year of your life???

Well I have - the year was 1988, actually September 1987 - September 1988
This was the year I spread my wings (and unfortunately legs - oh wait, sorry, that was probably not necessary to share) and left the family home...

Moved over 200 km away from the folks and thought I could manage life on my own..
Now mind you I was 17 and invincible... at least I thought I was... and did alot of things that are better left forgotten...

Now almost 20 years later, looking back, I have very little recollection of this time, why you ask... one word - Excess

You name it, I pretty much did it - if I liked it - I did it more, and more, and more...

Why this trip down memory lane now?? Well I have been cleaning up some crap (see previous post) and came upon a small black journal that I inconsistently kept during that time...




Reading through the mainly incoherent ramblings of a idiot I realize that I never want to be there again and that I must destroy this book!
What if I'm hit by a bus tomorrow and the boy grows up and reads this shit....
God, I'm sure I've given him enough "material" to keep him in therapy until he is 80 already let alone him reading about my adventures during the lost year...

What boy needs to read about his mother's talent tying cherry stems in knots with her tongue, illegal activities involving tinfoil and clubhouse sandwiches, cleaning squirrel shit from some guys apartment floor for a couple of fatties, getting felt up by a roadie from the band Nazareth (anybody remember Nazareth,"Love Hurts") and the night I almost died...

I did get a good chuckle reading excerpts about this guy "Gary" that I lived with during that time...(platonic relationships strictly - he had a freakishly large head)
Gary hitchhiked across the country to get some magic mushrooms in B.C. and came back with the snazziest moccasins, two black eyes, and a new appreciation for the way the world worked... Ha, wonder what ever happened to Gary...

So now I am feel somewhat nauseous with the trip down a very foggy memory lane but very appreciative of how sucky my life is now...

Kumbaya kids...

Don't look

This room is a fu**kin pig mess, jesus
I can't believe I'm actually posting this but... this is out of control

The rest of the house thankfully is in order but this room is going to be the death of me...
This is our computer/craft/scrap/junk room and boy is it in need of a "clean sweep"
(Like many other parts of my life... - nother story)
So if the father in law is going to come and finally paint the damn room then I must get off my ass and get this shit in order...

K - so off the puter dumbass and get to it....