Sometimes......

Sometimes things just are meant to be.....
The husband will not be taking the job in Michigan (boo hoo) but will be going for a few weeks (maybe more) to Vancouver to work - must. contain. excitement. woo hoo!!

Sometimes bad things do really happen to good people....
My best friend husband has been secretly screwing a stripper and plans on leaving her in debt up to her eyeballs with two small kids to parent on her own

Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side...
My neighbour invited us (me and the boy) over for a swimming party on Saturday in their INDOOR heated huge honkin' pool

Sometimes things you think are big deals really are patheticially trivial...
I thought I was going to lose my mind because I couldn't fit into last year's capri pants and then a client's 12 year old daughter was diagnosed with cancer on Tuesday and likely will not see Christmas

Sometimes you should have faith in yourself....
Okay so I "aced" my last french test last night and my oral presentation actually seemed to go okay - no one booed or threw tomatoes - a good sign I think - oui oui

Sometimes you are just so full of shit and pathos that you should just go to bed...
Nighty nite kids

Favours and Flavours....

To the handful of readers of this blog can I ask a favour of ya??
You see, the husband may have a job opportunity that is 3 hours away from this place
It would do us all some good to have him the hell away from here...
Seriously, I would appreciate some positive thoughts, prayers, sacrifices, chanting, whatever it is you do to make things happen cause if he is gone...do I dare dream... life will be complete....
Ya, I know selfish, selfish me but man, he MUST go...

Now on to something totally unrelated...
Ketchup - yes I've never really thought about it... but I love the stuff...
Discuss....

Joyeuses Paques....

Yep, there I said it - en francis no less...
The bunny came - left a bizillion eggs outside and a kick ass basket full of overly priced toys for the boy - yep it's easter... yipee...
Enough said about that - now lets move on...

Actually, spending the day livin "the day of the bunny" made me remember a bunny I once had that was quite dear to my heart....

Back in the good old days of the mid 80's I was deeply in love, er, infatuated with a much older guy "Tim". One day when we were out in the canoe (no really we did go canoeing - I lived on the river then) I found a stuffed bunny floating in the nasty assed water of the river - well needless to say I had to rescue this bacteria infested stuffed animal and take it home - I bleached the snot out of it in the bathroom for hours and then decided that it was okay and treasured it like nobody's business... aww Tim and the bunny.... good times

God I remember that day now and I'm feeling all squishy inside - man I miss the simplicity of that love and the huge impact some stupid thing had on your happiness...

(And as a sidenote to "Tim" if you ever read this...(giggle) you really weren't my "first"...but I like to think you were... Phew, finally got that off my chest...)

Now hand me a water soaked, germ infested, bacteria filled stuffed animal today and you'd be wearing the damn thing...

Anybody remember that song by The Waterboys - The Whole of The Moon - or something like that????

Still laughing...

A friend of mine sent me this email and I'm still giggling my ass off about it
Apologies if you have already seen this....

This year's 10 winners of the Bulwer-Lytton contest, aka "Dark and Stormy Contest" (run by the English Dept. of San Jose State University),

This year's 10 winners of the Bulwer-Lytton contest, aka "Dark and Stormy
Night Contest" (run by the English Dept. of San Jose State University),
wherein one writes only the first line of a bad novel:

10) "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind
in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it."

9) "Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens."

8) "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned,
unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep
azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied
for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that
defied description."

7) "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept
along the East wall: 'Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre creep.' "

6) "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism,
was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to
become the woman he loved."

5) "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from
eeking out a living at a local pet store."

4) "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins
often do."

3) "Like an over-ripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the
corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."

2) "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'; a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death -- in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies."

AND THE WINNER IS...

1) The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the
greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window,
revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in
frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her,
disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, screaming madly, 'You
lied!"

Spring has sprung

Yes I think it really may be happening kids...
Let us keep our fingers crossed that the evil snow is now behind us
Beautiful sunny days lately - high in the upper teens (that's Celsius)
The flowers are beginning to sprout up
The birds are back and singing their chirpy little tunes
The trees are looking like they are ready to burst with buds
Yep it seems that it's all happening....

Now most would see all the abovementioned signs and agree that spring is here BUT
you wanna know how I know that spring is here....

All my clients go off their meds...

Now you would think that the promise of a season of renewal and new beginnings would bring most to a sense a of peace and positive outlooks
Yep, to most that is how it is played out - but not with my "friends" at the crisis centre

Now before you start poo pooing me about my unprofessionalism in this post realize that after 2 weeks of working over overtime, being cursed at, cried on, being told that I personally have the power to make or break someone's existence, and then lastly on Monday being asked to be the guardian of a client's children should they "disappear" has made this girl just need some space to let it all go...

Yep it's spring at the crisis centre, come on down....

God I love the spring..... and yeh, I love my job too....

It's Sunday again.......

Hey it's Sunday night and I have survived it without any bloodshed or tears.....

Went with my friend to the local market and walked around downtown - it was great!
I really miss downtown, the shops, the people, the whole vibe - reminds me of when I lived there back in college and how everything was so much more alive, vibrant, and exciting... I really want to visit that time again..
I think going downtown and hangin' will now need to be added to the objectives list for the 4 year plan... (yah remember the plan girl)

I have been going to the gym as painful as it is sometimes...
Got myself a personal trainer who I've met with a few times now - but will not be meeting again with her for a LONG while
Now the next bit of rambling here is not meant to offend, disrespect, or upset the personal trainers of the world but.....WHAT THE HELL - you suck...
I have never felt sooooo stupid and pathetic in all of my life (and trust me there have been plenty of times)

She seriously hates me - no seriously I think deep down inside she will not be satisfied until she has killed me - I believe she is hunting me for sport...
Is it really necessary to YELL at me and LAUGH at me and PUSH me?? - me thinks not...
I literally told her I had to stop because I was going to puke and she every so graciously told me that I COULD NOT stop, brought me a garbage pail to vomit in and began to tell me that if I threw up it was just because all of the blood was rushing to my legs and the other systems of my body were starting to shut down - now did you know that the digestive system is the first system to "shut down" therefore needing to "expel" the stomach contents?? - apparently, according to little miss Lucifer, this is a good thing...

You see I have a HUGE problem with people telling me what to do - especially when it involves pain and humiliation...
Now I will still go to the gym and kick my own ass - thank you very much....

And a little note to self and anyone else reading this - one thing that I did learn from this one on one go around with little miss thing is - NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, EVER call your personal trainer a skinny bitch because she will make you pay, pay, and pay......